Day 8: Dark have been my dreams of late...

I had this terrible dream. Donald Trump, Ivanka and that characteristic mixture of Oompa loompas and sociopaths that make up his family were standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial amid a display of fireworks and fervently patriotic music. In the dream, Donald Trump had won the election and become leader of the free world.

And then the eyes of the Lincoln Statue opened and the 30 foot stone Lincoln rose like a troll from Lord of the Rings, grabbed and swallowed the tiny child in the big boy suit as other members of the Trump Family trampled Donald in their haste to escape. Donald, bloodied, confused, still orange and ruing marrying someone who could outrun him to that extent when faced with danger, looked up into the eyes of the giant 16th president, as if trying to find some means of reasoning with him.

Lincoln, somewhat uncharacteristically, was not not in a mood to compromise, and looking out at the American crowd with an expression of profound disappointment, returned his attention to Trump and ignoring the protestations of the fallen businessman, raised his mighty stone giant foot...

"Innaugurate this."

And brought it down firmly, making America great again in one swift crushing motion.

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